Someone grew up in a happy family. Everyone loved and adored him, carried him around on their hands, and he is entirely dependent, but everything comes easily to him...
And then there's the other one. He grew up in a dysfunctional family, achieved everything on his own, fought for his place in the sun, but never really got anywhere.
And the second one looks at the first one and doesn't understand — why him, why not me? He comes to me with this question and asks it out loud, with longing in his voice.
Yes, your traumas are preventing you from growing. That is indeed the case.
A person's personality is multifaceted. The experiences we have in childhood form the basis of our thinking. And our thinking directly influences the decisions we make and implement in our lives.
Yes, our life is a collection of decisions that we choose from the many options offered to us by the universe.
What happens in the first case to those who, as we think, get everything they want? One option is if the child was raised in an overprotective, affluent, and permissive environment — they never faced any difficulties, had everything handed to them, and do not understand how to live any other way. Their life may seem easy, but this may only be an illusion, as the absence of challenges does not contribute to personal growth. Actually, there is not much to envy here. However, in the second case, when parents love their child and also help them develop a strong personality with an understanding of responsibility towards themselves and others, such individuals often achieve a great deal in life. But the question is, is it as easy as it seems from the outside? However, the formation of the ‘Winner’ scenario, as it is called in Eric Berne's transactional analysis, certainly makes it much easier to achieve victories and cope with failures. Such people treat failures simply as events that no one is immune to.
What influences the second type of person, who cannot achieve anything? A person who cannot achieve anything suffers from the consequences of a challenging childhood experience. Their trauma and unstable environment form negative thinking and fears that prevent them from making decisions and moving forward. They may feel insecure or unworthy of anything, so the possibility of success seems unattainable to them from the outset. This internal conflict creates a vicious circle where fears prevent action, and inaction confirms their failures. This is where the ‘loser’ scenario is formed, for whom any victory is simply impossible, and any failure is not just an event, but a catastrophe.
The scenario implies specific patterns of thinking and behaviour. It is formed in early childhood and changes life.
Understanding that the scenario can be changed gives a person the opportunity to change their thinking and behaviour and, as a result, change their life.
Read my articles
https://stattya.com/depression-as-a-form-of-silent-protest-the-unspoken-cry-for-change-201
https://stattya.com/love-addiction-normal-or-abnormal-the-psychology-behind-falling-in-love-171
https://stattya.com/toxic-productivity-what-is-it-and-how-to-live-with-it-645
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