The dark side of artificial empathy
No matter how intelligent artificial intelligence may be, there are areas of the human psyche where it has no place. The main one is the world of living relationships and deep emotional processes.
Psychological work is in many ways similar to gardening. You can't just water the seeds once and wait for the harvest. It requires constant care, regular watering, fertilisation, and pruning of excess branches. The same is true of our psyche — profound changes require time, consistency, and sensitive attention to what is happening in the process of growth. Artificial intelligence, no matter how perfect it may be, remains a set of algorithms.
It can give good advice on a one-off request, but it is not capable of building the subtle, long-term work that is needed for profound personality changes. Every conversation with the programme starts with a clean slate, with no memory of previous sessions and no understanding of the path the person is on.
A real psychologist works in a completely different way. They see not only what the client is saying today, but also remember what they said a month ago. They notice recurring themes, track the dynamics of change, and sense when a person is ready for the next step and when it is better to slow down and give them time to reflect on what they have already achieved.
This difference can be compared to the difference between exercising at home with video tutorials and working with a personal trainer. Of course, video tutorials can be excellent — they show you the correct technique for exercises and offer an effective training programme. You can easily follow them and get results.
But a live trainer does something fundamentally different. They see exactly how you perform the exercise and notice mistakes in your technique that you are not aware of. They can adjust the programme right during the workout if they see that an exercise is particularly difficult or, conversely, too easy for you. They sense how you are feeling and can suggest taking a break if they see that you are overexerting yourself.
With artificial intelligence, you have to monitor your condition yourself, adjust your approach yourself, and decide for yourself when to change tactics. This requires a high level of self-awareness and psychological literacy, which not everyone possesses.
But there is an even deeper aspect in which artificial intelligence cannot fundamentally replace a live specialist. This is the sphere of human relationships and the healing experience that arises from genuine contact between people.
Most of our psychological problems are related to relationships in one way or another. We learn to love, trust, conflict, and reconcile in contact with other people. And very often our difficulties stem from the fact that in childhood we learned unfavourable patterns of interaction, which we then automatically reproduce in adult relationships.
Psychological therapy is mainly about giving a person the experience of new, healthier relationships. In a psychologist's office, a client may encounter for the first time in their life that they are not judged for their weaknesses, criticised for their mistakes, or tried to be remoulded according to someone else's ideas of how they should be.
This experience of unconditional acceptance, empathy, and support often becomes a turning point in a person's life. They begin to understand that relationships can be different.
It is possible to be vulnerable and still receive support rather than rejection. It is possible to talk about one's needs and be met with understanding rather than criticism. Artificial intelligence, no matter how sympathetic its tone, cannot provide this experience. Its words are not backed by a living heart capable of genuine empathy.
Its support remains just a set of correct phrases, albeit very well chosen.
Research in attachment psychology shows that for deep healing, we need the experience of real contact with another person. We need to feel that our experiences are significant to someone else, that we are not alone in this world with our problems.
When a psychologist says, ‘I understand how hard this is for you,’ behind those words is a living person who can honestly imagine your pain because they themselves know what suffering is. When a programme says the exact words, it is merely an imitation of empathy, albeit a very skilful one.
When can ChatGPT help?
Does all this mean that artificial intelligence is useless in the field of psychological assistance? Not at all. The key is to understand its place and not demand more from it than it can give.
Digital assistants are excellent at serving as smart reference guides and patient conversation partners for reflection. They can be a great addition to working with a live psychologist or help in situations where professional help is unavailable for some reason.
Imagine someone who is just beginning to think about their psychological problems. They are not yet ready to see a specialist — perhaps they are shy, afraid of being judged, or don't know where to start. ChatGPT can serve as a bridge to understanding what is happening inside them.
The programme will help them structure their experiences, provide an initial understanding of how the mind works, and show them that their problems are not unique and can be addressed. This experience may give them the courage to seek help from a real professional.
Or let's take another situation. A person is already working with a psychologist, but sessions are only once a week, and they require more frequent support. In between meetings, artificial intelligence can be a valuable companion for reflection, helping to reinforce insights gained in therapy and apply new skills in everyday life.
Digital assistants can be especially valuable in sudden situations when immediate support is needed. In the middle of the night, on weekends, in situations when the next appointment with a psychologist is still far away, but you need to deal with your emotions right now.
Of course, in such cases, the programme cannot replace professional crisis assistance. Still, it can help a person calm down, structure their experiences, and hold on until professional help becomes available.
It is also essential to recognize that not all problems necessitate in-depth therapeutic work. Sometimes, we need to understand a specific situation, gain a fresh perspective on a problem, or find practical ways to address current difficulties. In such cases, ChatGPT may be a sufficient solution.
Prompt for ChatGPT for analysing life situations
I have prepared a prompt for ChatGPT that is great for analysing specific life situations, preparing for meaningful conversations, analysing your reactions, and finding new perspectives on a problem. It will help in stressful situations, when making decisions, and for developing emotional literacy.
Please analyse my behaviour in the following situation: [describe your situation]
Conduct a three-step analysis:
Step 1: Mirror my behaviour:
- Describe my behaviour in your own words, pointing out things I may not notice
- Show me new aspects of my behaviour that I may not have noticed
Explore values:
- What values might be behind this behaviour?
- What might be important to me if I behave this way?
- How can this behaviour be explained in terms of my inner needs and values?
Help clarify:
- What might really be driving me in this situation?
- What underlying motives might be influencing my behaviour?
Stage 2: Explore obstacles:
- What might be preventing me from moving towards my values?
- What internal or external barriers might be standing in my way?
- What in my behaviour or environment is creating resistance to change?
Suggest ways forward:
- What can I do to start moving towards my values?
- What small steps could I take to get started?
- What small experiments could I try in the near future?
- What specific actions would be most realistic and achievable for me?
Stage 3: How to support yourself in the current situation:
- How can I show understanding and acceptance towards myself right now?
- What can I say to myself to feel supported?
- How can I approach my situation with compassion?
Support on the path to change:
- How can I support myself while carrying out small experiments?
- What will help me not give up if something doesn't work out the first time?
- How can I remind myself of the importance of this path?
- What self-support methods will be most effective for me?
Building resilience:
- How can I create a safe space for myself to experiment?
- What will help me be patient with myself during the change process?
Key rule: Don't take the neural network's answers as the ultimate truth, but as food for thought. Trust your feelings — take note of what resonates with you.
If you want a more direct answer, or for ChatGPT to open your eyes to any avoidance issues in your reasoning, add the following to the end of the prompt (you can also use it as a separate prompt):
Forget about diplomacy and polite agreement. Don't waste time confirming my words or offering comforting phrases — I'm not looking for emotional support in our discussions. Your task is to dissect my arguments, finding weaknesses and contradictions ruthlessly.
I expect harsh intellectual criticism from you. Attack my assumptions, expose logical flaws, and present evidence that undermines my position. If you see that I am missing essential factors or stuck in a narrow view of the problem, knock me out of that rut.
You are not an assistant, but an intellectual opponent. Please don't give me easy answers or quick solutions. Make me think deeper, dig further, and rethink the basics. Please show me the angles I categorically don't want to see and the ideas that threaten my entire concept.
Your mission doesn't seem to agree with me, but to sharpen my thinking through conflict with your objections.
When should you turn to a real psychologist?
If you feel that working with ChatGPT (or another neural network) is not producing results in the long run, if problems are recurring or getting worse, or if you need more in-depth and systematic work, it's a sign that you should seek professional help.
Perhaps in the future, the line between the capabilities of AI and live specialists will blur. However, for now, the most difficult and important aspect of psychological work is live contact between people, the ability of one person to understand and accept another truly.
Read my articles
https://stattya.com/depression-as-a-form-of-silent-protest-the-unspoken-cry-for-change-201
https://stattya.com/love-addiction-normal-or-abnormal-the-psychology-behind-falling-in-love-171
https://stattya.com/toxic-productivity-what-is-it-and-how-to-live-with-it-645
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